Virtual Relationships

If there is any place to understand the dynamics of a relationship it is in the virtual world. Before relationships were done through IM’s and chat rooms and e-mail’s there was very little connection between the two in a relationship, it ended up being text which soon followed by phone calls, which hopefully ended with meeting the person face to face. Sometimes it is successful, sometimes it is not. Having relationships this way, is not healthy at all, not one bit.

I’m going through an experience right now, an interesting one at that, where I am learning from the mistakes of not having well grounded relationships in the real world by having one in the virtual one. This experience is not something I sought for, it was not something that I’m doing as a test to see if. Rather I’m letting my emotions, feelings and thoughts guide me down this road, in a comfortable space and I’m realizing that down the road I hope that the experience can only make me a better person.

Virtual relationships are very weird, all of the feelings are there but the person is replaced with a desktop, laptop, and a lot of masturbation (lets be honest here.) There are plenty of cases where the relationship works, it blossoms, people get married, move to different states. There are plenty of cases where it does not. In virtual relationships, I feel that has to be more boundaries set in place than their real counterparts – or else you end up dead tired for work the next morning, you end up loosing your friends, you end up alienating yourself for this tangible thing, but never achieve it.

In my opinion, and having dealt with these things, here are some good tips in having a successful virtual relationship, enjoying the experiences it can give you, and not loose your life because of it:

  1. Set up ground rules, this includes bed time schedules, expectations. Here honesty is key.
  2. Set up a schedule for yourself, this includes bed times, days that you know your staying away from the computer, times where you and your virtual partner can have some time to just yourselves.
  3. Don’t expect to meet the person face to face. Don’t, it rarely happens, and when it does your never guaranteed a success.
  4. Understand the nature of your relationship, it is in a virtual world, with someone who has their own life. Don’t expect them to put their life on hold as neither should you. Be open, honest about what you wish to convey, what you are looking for. If it escalates to something more than great, if it does not then it isn’t the end of the world.
  5. Most importantly, enjoy, learn from the experience, and apply what you have learned to what happens in the non-virtual world.
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